Thursday, April 24, 2008

Disturbing implication

Viva and I went to the Baby Factory to buy a pram the other day. We suffered from the WORST add-on sale I have ever encountered - we got some kind of pram 'sleeping-bag' thing, but then no-one could seem to work out the routine for actually clipping it into the freaking pram. Calls were eventually made to reps. It was a long drawn out affair - one which I would have terminated after around 5 minutes, but which Viva clung on tightly till the bitter end.

During the intervening time I wandered hither and tither around the store, clutching the baby capsule with the soundly sleeping Angelo - looking at the various baby wares housed within. Eventually I came to the mobile section,

I noticed an offering in this arena from the Sesame Street providers. It was a pastoral scene ( in as much as you can get a SCENE in a mobile anyway ) consisting of two sheep / lambs at diametrically opposing sides of the rotational circle, and in-between them - a baby version of the muppets Elmo and Cookie Monster ( they were wearing nappies ).

Fair enough I thought.

Then I noticed that each monster clutched something in their furry little hands. I looked closer.

Elmo had a rather large carrot. "The nutritional angle" thought I, "Well played Sesame Street Corp."

My eyes searched out what Baby-Cookie-Monster might be holding. "Surely it won't be a cookie - now that they have been a 'sometimes food' by the man. Perchance a cabbage ... or grapefruit ?"

A turn of the mobile 'axle' revealed all. Baby-Cookie-Monster held a bright yellow baby chicken to his fuzzy blue chest.

It took a moment or two to process the information.

What was being said here ? Cookie Monster ( surely the muppet character MOST associated with the act of ravenous, bestial eating ) is holding a LIVE BABY CHICKEN.

... is he going to EAT the live baby chicken ? Mashing it up in his pac-man like jaws until the giblets spray out in a bloody parody of cookie crumbs ?? Will Baby-Cookie-Monster be deaf to the plaintive 'peep-peep-peep' of the chicklet - begging for mercy ?

Shouldn't Baby-Elmo have the baby chicken and Baby-Cookie-Monster have the carrot ? Just to be safe ?

I could well be reading too much into this ( and sleep deprivation isn't helping matters one iota ) - but it's a disturbing implication none the less.

Just look at the crazy little bastard ! Look at that twisted Hannibal Lector grin ! You just KNOW he's going to start chewing on that chick's head and it's brains are going to fountain out it's beak ! Get it offa him for the love of all that's holy !


BubbaJay said...

That little pervert Elmo is holding that fraking carrot a little too intimately...

Jenni said...

OK, this was so funny I actually LOLed and had to explain to someone why.

Cookie Monsters eyes scare me...why are they pointing in different directions, chameleon style?

Seraph said...

Glad you enjoyed it, J-Dog.