Tuesday, October 10, 2006

This comes of playing too much R.E.3

You are in an arena the size of a basket ball court. You are armed with a hefty fire-axe and a Colt Anaconda ( a magnum to you normal people ) which is fully loaded - but you have no more ammunition. Only the six shots.

Which would you fight - a giant hunting spider ( lets say the size of a horse ) or a pack of twenty zombies ( medium level decomposition ) ?

Tricky eh ?

So - the spider would have range and speed over you ( coupled with a nasty leaping ability ) - BUT there's a pretty good chance you could blow it's spider guts out with the magnum without having to go toe to toe ( or toe to chitinous hooks ) with the axe.

Your zombies would be slow ( these would be your average "Day of the Dead" zombies - not your more speedy / savage 'Rage' victims . We do classic zombies here at Death From Above ! ) - but persistant. You might get a good number with the gun - but you'll have to be accurate and get 'em in the head, and you WILL have to go hand to hand with the axe. Not a pleasant thought. You don't want to get surrounded by the shuffling bastards either.

Then - who would you rather be eaten to death by if you lost ? Zombies ? Erk ! Slow and horrible feasting on your body-meats ! Mind you, if they crack your skull open FIRST and eat your throbbing brains as an entree rather than a main - it would be quicker. BUT you'll come back AS a zombie ! Not nice for friends and family !

Giant spider ? Double ERK ! Having your insides dissolved and slurped out of you ? That's unless the thing decides to 'keep you for later' !

Not good either way really.

If forced into aforementioned death-match by a suitably horrible twist-of-fate - I'd have to go with the zombies. While the odds are less favourable that with Senor Spider, I would certainly go into some sort of catatonic fear induced coma when facing a arachnid the size of a horse ! I'd be dead in the water before I even bagan ! And I'm pretty sure I could out-smart a bunch of freaking zombies.

Stupid zombies ... think they're so cool ...

This is the sort of thing that I think about when I have to put stapels in the few dozen mock exam booklets by hand, because I forgot to program that function into the freaking photocopier.

Duh.

4 comments:

Seraph said...

Oh yeah - I totally understand your "I'd take the giant spider" position. I think most people would.

In regards to poison though - yup. Ole Mr. Spider is venomous. I'd say it's more of a paralysing thing - rather than a nervous system disintergration. Would that really change your stand-point though ? For all intents and purposes - the zombies essentially are poisonous as well. One bite and you're pretty screwed. It might be easier to dodge a zombie bite - but there's going to be way more chances for you to get bitten when you're facing a pack of them.

Anonymous said...

That's a tough call man, I keep choosing one and then second guessing myself.

Am I a superhero in this scenario?

Seraph said...

Nice try - but no. You're just you in this situation. Regular-Jenni rather than Super-Jenni ( though Regular-Jenni is pretty super ). No super powers for you. Or me. Or even Con-man.

Anonymous said...

Well, if I don't have my superpowers I guess I'd go for the spider. I mean, I'm pretty scared of spiders too, but I don't like the thought of being outnumbered.

At least this way me and the giant spider can go mano-a-mano. (Or womano-a-spidero as the case may be.)

at least it's not as big as shelob.