Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Harry Potter 7 Death List

Right - with only a matter of scant days left before 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' is released, I'm going to make my predictions on who may very well end up getting capped. Taking a dirt nap. Dying.

Here are my top five :

1. Lord Voldemort

Yes yes - obvious I know. But let's face it - it's a cert ! There's no way he ISN'T going to die. I guess the big question is - will Harry end up going too ? Personally, I don't think so. But the big V - he's SO dead. Serves him right too.

2. One of the Weasleys

There are LOADS of them ! ONE is bound to get zorched just due to the law of averages. With Dumbledore gone - the Weasleys are pretty much Harry's only surrogate relatives ( which puts a bit of a banjo-strumming swing on his relationship with Ginny ... ). I'd put money on Ron and Bill making it out alive ( Bill already got a face full of werewolf fury - no point in going over old ground ! ) - though I'd have to say that one of Fred or George could well check out - or even Ginny. Was anyone else a little unsatisfied about the way the Cho Chang thing worked out ? I hope that gets sorted out in book 7.

There's an outside chance that Mr. or Mrs. Weasely could die ... but that would be pretty cold ! Some of my students have suggested that they'd LIKE to see Percy die, in some sort of suitably redemptive way of course.

3. Neville Longbottom.

The cross-hairs are pretty firmly locked on Neville - and he certainly is in danger of going the same way as his folks. He's been getting steadily more competent ... but Bellatrix could take him without breaking a sweat.

4. Draco Malfoy

I hope Draco doesn't die. I always kinda hoped that he's have some revelation in the last stories and become one of the goodies, kinda like Snape. I'd really like to see him change. And the events of the last book show, I think anyway, that he has the capacity to. May even WANT to. If he does die - then I get the feeling he will be fighting on the right side - and Voldemort is gonna kill him.

5. Severus Snape

I desperately hope that Snape lives. I REALLY REALLY do. I am firmly in the 'Snape is a Good Guy Really' camp. Snape killed Dumbledore because Dumbledore TOLD him too. They need someone on the inside of the Death-Eaters, and if Snape hadn't zapped Albus - then Snape would have died ( unbreakable vow held with Narcissa ), with all sorts of terrible consequences ( like the Dark Lord knowing that they're operations had been compromised for one ! ).
You'll see. Snape will end up saving Harry's butt again. I just hope it doesn't cost him his life ( cos L.V. is going to be gunning for him then ! And how ! ) although I get the horrible sinking feeling that it will.

So - there's the death-list ! Now - to play the waiting game and see how right I am !


BubbaJay said...

Dude you gotta take short odds on that Potter kid getting creamed. The way I figure it Longbottom is the chosen one, Snape is a double agent, the Dursley Aunt gets whacked, same again for Hagrid (add also kiddie porn stash), Dumbledore returns vis a vis Kenobi light show, Vodlemort either a) kills himself and Potter in a drawn out duel, b) gets consumed by the souls he has destroyed, c) gets clipped by the Gambini Crime Family and dumped in a shallow grave outside of Queens.
PS Am I the only one here who doesn't get why the Order guys don't just tool up with a HK 50mm Anti-Material rifle? Reach out and touch someone from up to and including 2 kilcks out.

Jack Dee said...

Guns and other Muggle tech wont work at Hogwarts or surrounding high magic zones, its got one of those reality paradigm dampening field thingees

Seraph said...

I got the feeling it was more a mindstate kind of a thing. Tecnology WOULD work for them, but the Wizard / Witch community just DOESN'T think about technology - it's kind of a blindspot for them. I guess when you can kill someone with a wave of a wand - you don't really have to consider fire-arms.

It's possibly a status thing too - 'My goodness ... you're using an GUN ? Only the 'norms' have to use technology ! What kind of mage are you if you have to use a gun ? Use magic-missle dude ! NEVER misses, does 1d4+1 damage - with an extra missle conjured for every 3 levels you have ! Jeesh !'


Jack Dee said...

How about this they ALL die in some sort of mega magical first strike,
every last one of them including Hedwig the Owl

Seraph said...

I can see the appeal - though some would accuse JKR of putting in a less than satisfactory effort :

"Harry Potter was making his way back to Privet Drive, when Lord Voldemort's incantation of massive and inescapable doom was finished from within his Lair. Harry failed to make the group saving-throw and so all that he loved and cared about - including Hedwig the owl - exploded in a mass of gelatinous blood and mangled flesh.

"That was easy!" Lord Voldemort chuckled "Why didn't I think if this YEARS ago ? Now - to take over the world!"

And so Lord Voldemort reigned supreme and unchallenged, and brought all the lands to darkness.

The End."

BubbaJay said...

Lets bear in mind that a certain organisation, known to us all, spent A LOT of money to build an 'ultimate weapon'.
But didn't have the brains enough the properly secure one tiny thermal exhaust vent...

If I were Harry, I would so be touching my Magnum .45...

Jack Dee said...

...As the large Mushroom-like cloud slowly disappeared Lord Voldemort started coughing "I'm not feeling too good I think I'd better have a lie down...'

I also have a way to get around the Technology Vs. Magic prohibition, pack the trunk of the flying 2 door Anglia with The Weasley Bros. Whiz bang fireworks then tell the car that all the other magic cars say he's a claped out wimp and send him off to Hogwarts.
Hey presto a magical cruise missile with an invisibility stealth mode
Hooray !