Bubbajay and the boys - a pretty furious Dracula

Gargh - JUNIOR reports finally done. I was here at school ALL weekend, and till eight last night. It's my own fault really. I should have gotten my arse in gear ealier. Ah well.

I took Friday off to have some of the guys round to waste time playing games and drinking beer. Not that I actually drank any beer I think. It was good times all round - cos not ONLY were my cronies Hix and Richardo present, my long time ( and well missed ) buddy Bubbajay was in town on one of his semi-shady business trips. I'm not sure exactly what it is he sells - but I think it might be kryptonite to various super-villian leagues.

Anyway - fun all round !

I discovered that I can get MUCH better points in SingStar if I sing in a stupidly squeeky voice. Go figure.

Gem of the nights gaming was a round of "Fury of Dracula". Once again, I donned the cape and pointy teeth and rampaged across Europe in a torrent of blood and ... more blood !

Huh - I WISH that's what happened anyway. Yeesh - I got OWNED in that game ! In fact, I'd go as far as to say I got p0wn3d ! Cripes. I was all like "Foolish mortals ! To challenge the might of Dracula ! ... Hey - where did they get all those suspiciously glowing crosses from ? And what's with those bullets in the boxes marked "Specially Blessed by the the Archbishop" ? Should they have a lynch mob on their side ? ... Maybe I'd better get my vampiric ass outta town ..."

So about three of the hunters caught me in London in the middle of the day. Ouch. I pretty much got the crap slapped out of me - I managed to get back to the mainland - but Van Helsing caught me and popped a cap in me. Exit Vlad Tepes - stage left.

Still - a very fun game, and a very fun night.

Next time - I'm playing a hunter though.

Seraph for minister of foreign relations !

I had one of my laughing seizures in the staff room the other day. It was quite a eye-opener for most of the staff in our conversation conclave ( though if you've known me for any great length of time you'll know that these fits of uncontrollable laughing and giggling are pretty regular ).

It has been much remarked on already.

The reason for my mirth ? It all started with one of the staff recounting her experiences with food in her worldly travels. Y'know - all the gross things she's sorta been forced to eat as not to cause huge amounts of dishonour to her hosts. Live baby turtles, dog stew, various forms of locust or grasshopper, even a 'monkey pie' ( hell - isn't that one of the funniest things you've heard ? A MONKEY-pie ? Even the word is freaking great ! If you wanted specifics - apparently it was a 'mostly-baboon-pie'. She didn't really want to know what the other stuff was ).

But that's not what I was laughing at.

I started thinking along these lines - what if that while 'dishonour' thing is a scam ? ( yeah - I KNOW it isn't really ). What if these people were just trying to see what horrible stuff they could get these western tourists to eat. You could imagine these guys heading off to the bookies afterwards - "Hey Achmed ! Those backpackers totally ate that bowl full of fried pig ovaries ! That was, what ? Ten to one odds ? It's time a started getting some money back from you after the whole mashed locust patties ...".

But THAT'S not what I was laughing at.

Logically - after a train of thought like that, you start thinking of payback ( because if there's ONE thing that 'ole Seraph stands for - it's REVENGE ! ). I started to imagine volunteering to host a visiting teacher from one of our sister schools overseas, and seeing what crap I could get away with feeding them on the pretense that it was a "great honour" to be served such a delicacy.

And I was laughing about that for a good long while.

"Oh - you're in for a treat tonight Mr. Chang ! A New Zealand national meal - Lawn-clipping Surprise ! Down in one ! Down in one ! Down in one !"

The reason for my silence

Report writing has been getting me down. It freaking sucks. I was in here all day Sunday - trying to get my comments done. I probably could have finished the whole process much faster than I did - but I just couldn't stay "on task" ( a phrase I myself typed a great many times over the long stretch of Sunday ... ). In the end I threw in the towel and went home at around 6pm, because I was feeling pretty sick. I was here till about half six last evening too finishing the bastards off.

Usually I can get into a sort of report writing 'zone' - this special headspace you can occupy to dance the patterns of linguistic subterfuge needed these days so young people's delicate self-esteem isn't irreparably dinged. You WANT to say "Quentin is a piece of human shaped filth and a prime example of all that is wrong with mankind. I recommend he be used for live organ harvesting so that a worithier soul may enjoy the gift of life. The sooner he is moldering in his grave the better for all inhabitants of the universe" ? Well you have to say something like "Quentin is a lively individual, but would be better served focusing his attention into activities within the scope of lesson activities. There are promising developments ahead in the subject area of science, with definate interest in surgery". Or something like that.

And I still have my JUNIOR reports hanging above me, sword of Damocles like ! They'll be even worse. Sigh.

Monster film hijinks - in with a chance !

Last night was the heats showing of my teams 48 Hour Film Competition entry "Monster Hunter IV : Beyond Repair".

Man - it ROCKED !

It was the first time I had seen it ( most of the other members of the team saw it on the Sunday night - I had gone home by this stage. I was tired, I had to iron clothes, I was hungry - and seeing as mushrooms make me sick, I decided not to partake of the mushroom pasta that was kindly whipped up for the team. I appreciate the gesture though ). It looked good! It sounded good! Debz was amazing as Diana Jones - the badass monster hunter! Luke was disarming as Robin Slade - the upbeat monster diffusing kinda guy! We had wicked looking stunts ! I looked good as a corpse !

The weekend was fun - though there was a lot of waiting ( a good amount of it in the rain ). I've learnt that there's a lot of this in films if you act in them. Viva was, on the other hand , gloriously busy in her role as assistant-director ( she did such a great job I thought - sure, I'm biased - but she was still great ! ).

My contribution to the film was being one of the mooks - or in more un-hip parlance, one of Diana Jones' elite monster hunting thugs. I had to stand and look mean in one shot with the rest of the mooks ( there were five of us ). I had to also stalk through mud in a combat style ( I also learned to hold a hand gun in a 'proper' way ). My big moment was my 'hero' death. I was actually kinda nervous about the shot - it was one of those "You get ONE crack at this - don't screw this up" moments. I had to stand back to back with another Mook - turn slowly ( scanning the surrounding bush ) to face her. THEN I had to see the monster ( who was a melty faced guy ) off screen behind her. I had to register shock/horror/revulsion - and then my Mook partner was supposed to get glooped off frame - and that's when two guys off frame were going to splatter me with fake blood ( make from golden syrup, chocolate sauce and food coloring ...man - I hope that doesn't violate some kind of secret. Don't want Peter Jackson kicking my arse - though I'm pretty sure I have the weight advantage on him now ...). Then I freak out - then the monster kills me. Fun !

The first time the guys were supposed to "gore" me, they missed completely - getting my co-Mooks shoulder instead - though they DID manage to get a bit of blood on me too - just enough so it was a pain to get off. Ah well.

I was really worried afterwards - cos it didn't feel like I had really nailed it. It didn't look too bad on screen - though I know I could have done it better...

The last thing I did was to be dead in a frame with my likewise dead co-Mook - the whole eyes staring lifelessly from my expired corpse. Now THAT was alright !

To be honest - even if I had had nothing to do with our film, I STILL would have ranked it at least second. The "road-movie" from out heat was pretty funny, and I gave the "Based-on-a-true" story a second place - even though it wasn't REALLY in genre ( but it WAS pretty freaking funny ). I hope we win that round - I think we deserve to.

I now want to learn some mad animation skillz - so I can create a logo piece as cool as the "Long Live Megatron!" teams one! Nothing says cool quite so much as a mental looking robot firing a automatic weapon wildly while screaming "Long Live Megatron!" ( So cool ! ). I'd love to know what application they used ...